Euphoria

I like spicy food… I mean, if we can get past the ”ohh, he’s Mexican, of course he likes spicy food”, I just kinda do, I love all food, but spice? I like the physical reaction, it’s poison, it burns because it’s designed by nature, to be a deterrent so the plant’s fruit can thrive and spread. And we just… eat it.

Heck evolution, seriously, we are dumb that way, there’s so many things that we just do for our own’s taste buds benefits that it borders on the stupid, but… I mean, it’s delicious so fuck it I guess. However, there’s a secondary reason, a more personal one. Like so many other good memories or joyful things that I’ve experienced in my life, they are mostly tied to food.

I can look at my friends and recall specific meals we’ve shared, or me cooking for people I love, there’s something deeply romantic and emotional to presenting sustenance to someone and be like ”here, eat, I did this with my own two hands, just for you, but mostly, just for me, for the joy of watching you, experience you enjoying it”, even if it’s not very good, it’s also why I have a really fancy coffee set up, it’s one of my favorite things, to give some one who came to my home, a part of me, a tiny bit of one of my few joys in my daily routine… brewing coffee in the morning.

”F*ck, that’s delicious”
– Action Bronson.

But also, food has cured me, more on the spiritual sense, on a deep emotional level, I’m pretty sure I’ve had meals on my very worst times of depression that while, not really curing it, def, helped, returned some warmth and happiness, a small bright spot at the end of the tunnel.

Which is also why I like spice… sometimes, and I don’t think I’ve ever said this out loud, sometimes, I crave spicy food for the poison. The actual endocrinological response your brain has out of sheer confusion… what is this pain we’re experiencing??? are we dying?????? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? HERE, HAVE ALL THIS DOPAMINE AND ENDORPHINS… It’s your body trying to help, to block the pain, give you the push to run away and get out of danger, and I love that too. I do that some times, I need that sometimes, have you ever been so sad that you craved super spicy food? I have.